Say it before it is too late

I believe that if someone has hurt you or shown you a great deal of love you need to make sure that person knows how you feel.  The rule and mantra that I try to live by is that I will tell them before I leave this planet.


My relationship with my father growing up was non-existent--not my choice as I was a child.  Upon reaching adulthood and dealing with my past feelings about this relationship I felt that in my heart that he needed to know how I was as a person and how his actions effected me.  I decided before I left this planet that I was going to let him know who I was as a person, why I was this way, what he missed out on in my childhood and my issues with fathers that don't have relationships with their children.  I never saw him as this bad evil man, my mother never said one bad word about him, she never tried to keep me from him but at the same time she never dropped me off at his door either, but that is another post for another day.  
My father and I met by chance, and I was able to tell him everything that I felt in three meetings and I felt so much better, I am not sure if I can say the same for him.  Some things you have to say before it is too late...But one has to remember and be prepared to know that what the other person does with the words and emotions that you have just shared with them is out of your control.  Case in point, my father did not well up with tears and offer a great apology, his demeanor remained calm and rational; however I do know that I was heard, which was all that I wanted to be, is heard.


In addition to telling people when you are hurt you also have to tell them when they have shown you love and support. 


I have an aunt that I had to tell how much she influenced me and how much I wanted to be like her...made sure it happened 2005.  


I have been looking for my mentor from high school for what feels like forever and by chance I found her two weeks ago...amazing!
I had the opportunity to say how much of an impact she had on me...I was so glad that we had found each other...she is the older version of me...uncanny...really uncanny.  I am sure that she never knew the impact that she had on my life at the time, but I was so glad to be able to find her and tell her...thank goodness that some people have uncommon last names...People with English degrees are my heroes and she-roes and who knew that she too was in that club, see the influence...


If you have a person that has made a difference in your life, big, small, positive or negative, if you know that there are feelings that you need to express and your life will not be put in harms way, let that person know.  Closure takes many forms and for me letting people know how I feel and why before it's too late is the greatest closure for me.