What does power mean to you?

Power.
Simply put power is one of those words that takes on a different meaning for the person using it and various contexts.
What does power mean to you?
At this point in my life power comes in numerous forms.  Various cliches come to mind: Power is something that comes from within, Power is what you hold in your heart, Power is what you make it--etc.  Power is the ability to do what you want to do while being true to yourself.  In this lifetime you only have yourself to answer to and a higher power if that's something that you believe in.  Living your life with little or no regrets is powerful and no one can ever take that away from you.
We live in a very capitalistic society and with a capitalistic mentality, power is seen as everything that each individual should aspire to.  Songs have been written about what power means.  Take the following lyrics by The Lox for example:
It's the key to life.
Money, power, and respect.
Whatchu' need in life.
Money, power, and respect.
When you eatin' right.
Money, power, and respect.
Help you sleep at night.
You'll see the light.
It's the key to life.
Money, power, and respect.
Whatchu' need in life.
Money, power, and respect.
When you eatin' right.
Money, power, and respect.
Money, power, and respect.
Money, power, and respect.


These lyrics define capitalism.  These lyrics represent the young American work ethic for some people regardless of class, ethnic background, financial background, etc.  
In these lyrics money, power and respect are all tied together, but can they be separate?  All of these words when standing alone or maybe put in a different order will have a different impact on people.  Does one really need money, power and respect to be the best that they can be?  


What does power mean to me?  From the referenced lyrics power, respect and money have a different meaning.  I believe that I have gotten wiser as I have aged and for me right now power is a cliche that I am trying to attain.  I have no problem admitting this.  No problem at all.
I want the power to use my voice, my humor and outlook on life to be an influence on all those around me as I believe that I have something to offer each individual that I meet and I feel the same way about others. 


Power as defined by me today:  the ability to love and be loved, the ability to communicate with others when angry, frustrated and happy, the earned respect of friends, family and new acquaintances and most importantly safety and stability.  I don't believe that this is too much.  


Power, what does it mean to you?

One of my favorite poems

This is one of my favorite poems by Alice Walker.  Yes, that Alice Walker of "The Color Purple" fame.  This piece speaks volumes to me on so many levels.  Enjoy and please feel free to leave comments.

Definition of Womanist

Womanist 

1.  From womanish.  (Opp. of “girlish,” i.e., frivolous,

irresponsible, not serious.)  A black feminist or feminist

of color.  From the black folk expression of mothers to

female children, “You acting womanish,”  i.e., like a woman.

Usually referring to outrageous, audacious, courageous or willful

behavior.  Wanting to know more and in greater depth than is considered “good” for one. 

2.  Also: A woman who loves other women, sexually and/or nonsexually.  Appreciates and prefers women’s culture, women’s emotional flexibility (values tears as a natural counterbalance of laughter), and women’s strength.  Sometimes loves individual men, sexually and/or nonsexually.  Committed to survival and wholeness of entire people, male and female.  Not a separatist, except periodically, for health.  Traditionally universalist, as in:

 “Mama, why are we brown, pink, and yellow, and our cousins are white, beige, and black?”  Ans.: “Well, you know the colored race is just like a flower garden, with every color flower represented.” Traditionally capable, as in:  “Mama, I’m walking to Canada and I’m taking you and a bunch of other slaves with me.”  Reply:  “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

3.  Loves music.  Loves dance.  Loves the moon.  Loves the Spirit.  Loves love and food and roundness.  Loves struggle.  Loves the Folk.  Loves herself.  Regardless. 

4.  Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender.

Milestones part one

     The other day an old friend posed a question about reaching the age of 35.  The question was a fill in the blank:  By the time a woman reaches the age of 35 she should _________.  There were multiple answers to this question and I have my own view, the following list is in no particular order and is not complete at this time--simply an overview of my thoughts at this time in my life...

     I am a person that believes that you can follow your own life map and plan, don't let anyone else decide your path for you, HOWEVER, I do believe that there are some experiences that should be shared by each and everyone if at all possible.  This list of milestones offers some of the few experiences that I think women of a certain age, not just 35 should share.

1.  By the time a woman is 30 plus she should be comfortable with her own company.  I must clarify this statement, comfortable with your own company, meaning you can be by yourself and not be overwhelmed with the feeling of being alone or labeled a failure by society.  I am completely comfortable with my own company and this is partly because I was raised as an only child and I believe that I am pretty enjoyable to be around, such is life.  

2.  By the time a woman is 30 plus she should have traveled outside of her city, state and if at all possible her country.  Travel is so important on various levels.  I have traveled and I believe that my thinking, outlook on life, tastes and expectations have all been enhanced due to my traveling experiences.

3.  By the time a woman is 30 plus she should truly understand what makes a person a good mate.  Is finding a good mate easy, no...however, people should know that as you get older and want stability if the person that you are with does not want stability or your goals--they may not be the best choice for a mate.  Yes, I know sometimes opposites attract, but not on all levels.

4.  By the time a woman is 30 plus she should have a few solid friendships.  There is no greater feeling than having a few people in your corner in times of good, bad, in between and who simply love you for who you are.

5.  By the time a woman is 30 plus she should have a specialty food that she makes.  Yes, I do believe that all people should know their way around a kitchen, not just women.  I mention food because I believe that nothing builds community and connection like good food.

That's it for now...this is only the beginning of this list.

Comments...thoughts...reflections?

Friends part one

People move in and out of our lives, what's the old saying: People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  If a person is lucky they will have the pleasure of having a few good friends in their lifetime.  I consider myself to be a truly lucky person.  I feel that I have six truly wonderful friends.  I am not being boastful, I am just very appreciative. 

One of the greatest people that I know, a true gem of a person and someone that I am honored to call my friend had a birthday yesterday.  Birthdays to me are special and should always be celebrated and this person is a true blessing to everyone that meets her.  I have had many laughs working with this person and then the friendship began.  I am rather snarky sometimes and she gets my humor.  She is always very understanding and supportive, which has always humbled me and this I am thankful for.

I believe that when you truly care about someone you should let them know.  My friend is an artist, she is deadly with a drawing pen and she expresses her feelings of our friendship with her pen...(I on the other hand cannot make any art to save my life, alas I will never be Banksy...)  This year I am returning the compliment to her because of  her always encouraging and kind words this posting is dedicated to her and our friendship that I believe will last a lifetime, not just for a short reason or season.

Images

Images and labels surround us everyday, some of the images are flattering, insulting, daring, compassionate, uplifting, and misleading.

While viewing the television show, Celebrity Apprentice one of the most unflattering images of an African-American woman was on display for all of the viewing public, none other than Nene Leakes.  Ms. Leakes is not known by all of America however, for those following the show her over the top and often abrasive personality helped to reignite the image of the big, loud, heffer of a black woman from the southern part of America. Watching this display caused a range of emotions for myself and a few of my friends.  After watching this show I was saddened, angry and confused.  Saddened because I think that people over the age of 12 can and should be able to conduct themselves better and with more reserve.  Angry because this was just too much to consume.  Lastly, I was confused because why oh why would an adult woman lose her cool on national television for the benefit of Donald Trump?

I would like for someone to please take note that this not the way that all African-American women handle themselves when angry...

One day I truly believe that this image will be a thing of the past, some one just please inform Ms. Leakes that this is never the image displayed by someone with class.

Still finding me...

Foremost I have to say that I have a wonderful life.  I am loved, cared for, smart and witty, all in that order.  Currently I am in an unfamiliar space, meaning that I am searching for me, hence the title of this blog.  

I am getting my mojo back.  

There is so much going on in the world and I am trying to find my place.  What is my place in this world?  Where is my place in this world?  I know that I do have a place, and believe me I know that it is a good one, sadly I just haven't put my finger on it, but I have the utmost confidence in knowing that this place of mine does exist.  

I am finding me and I am thankful that I have the time and a healthy relationship to do so.

This image was taken at a time before a major transition was about to take place...when this picture was taken I was full of happiness and love...I will be getting back to that place, still finding me.